To continue the bird saga from my previous post, I ended up buying a bird bath with a solar fountain and a solar powered bird feeder camera for the backyard. the bird feeder camera pinged me with a notification every two minutes with videos of nothing but the wind shaking the feeder, so I had to dig into the sensitivity settings just to make it stop. Even after adjusting it, I was still getting videos of absolutely nothing. I spent more time deleting footage than actually watching it. Out of maybe eighty notifications, I got one bird. It was exciting for about thirty seconds before the dopamine wore off and I thought to myself, this is really stupid. A hundred and twenty dollar camera and a seventy five dollar pole is not worth the birds I may be able to see in the future.
Still, my son and I decided to give it one more shot. We drove about twenty minutes out to a local mountain trail and spent around half an hour walking around in the heat. We could hear birds everywhere. We just could not find a single one. Between the heat, the humidity, and the bugs, we called it and headed home.
On the way back we stopped at Walmart. Standing in the parking lot, we spotted about three different bird species without even trying. My son also pointed out that he sees more birds in our own yard than he did hiking the mountains.
Something about hearing that hit me like an epiphany. It was as if his words instantly cut through two weeks of tunnel vision and brought everything into focus all at once. The hyperfixation was done. Just like that.
I returned the binoculars. I returned the bird bath and the feeder camera. I am done with birding.
That said, I did feel guilty about one thing. Taking everything back meant taking away their food and water source and that did not sit right with me. The birds should not have to suffer just because I have ADHD and decided to suddenly walk out of their lives. So I replaced everything with a simple bucket of water and some birdseed. They are taken care of. I just will not be watching them anymore.
But the whole experience did get me thinking about why these temporary hyperfixations start in the first place. I have some thoughts on that and I plan on sharing them with you soon.
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